Tell Me That You Need Me

静静的

2010-04-10T23:15:00.001+08:00

在这一瞬间我真得很想什么也不做，不想，不听，我只想静静的。。

太多的事发生了，我似户都喘不过气来！一波未平一波又起！！！我真的真得很累了，再也撑不下去了，很辛苦。我真的很想再去旅行，一个人无忧无虑的去让即天涯海角。远离是非之地。静静的过我该过的生活。

遗憾

2010-04-02T19:25:00.003+08:00

听说，爱是对的，

错的是我们，

还没有学会怎样去爱，就急着爱

而爱错人？

和你吵吵闹闹的日子

对我而言真的是一种无法表达的痛

也是一种心灵上的折磨

你总会让我无缘无故的流泪

让我感到害怕，

痛，

不知所措！

难道这就是你爱我的方式吗？

常挂在你嘴边的那么一句

“我爱你”

对我而言

意义早已不再完美

也只能怪

不曾去了解“我爱你”这三个字的意义

光口说“我爱你”

只会让我感到很压抑

同时也感到无法呼吸

这种无法呼吸的痛

难道这就是你对我的爱吗？

我常对你说

不爱我时候就放开我

为何你还要紧紧地把我牵着

别再勉强自己再去爱我吧！

这样下去你我都会无法呼吸

你我之间。。。

现在

只拥有一大堆数不完的遗憾

背着遗憾你会活的比别人快乐吗？

难道只就是你所说的“我爱你”吗？

我到底是爱错了

还是我错爱了

我总觉得

“他”不是我爱的“他”

明天的回忆

2009-12-10T14:29:00.001+08:00

看你一眼

都看成永远

怕梦刹那变从前

我染上思念

跪在爱的面前

心疼到不能语言

每刻相聚

都像是结局

时间让一切老去

我拼命抹去

你情丝唇语

用遗忘对抗时时别离

我知道缠绵将是寂寞的回忆

我知道誓言不一定能留住你

我只管爱你只管想你

不去想延续

每一次见你都像第一次相遇
我知道今天将是明天的回忆

我知道泪水将是往事的插曲

我在你怀里不能呼吸

任由你将明日

含恨成回忆

哭成无语

不堪回忆

2009-12-10T09:54:00.002+08:00

OMG!!

why i keep on view his blog again and again everyday?

i'm going crazy man!!!!

WTF am i thinking and doing?

2009-06-17T00:27:00.004+08:00

After searching facebook today... i feel so sad that i saw someone had gf.. i know it since quit a long time.. but i just don hope myself will click in his profile i know i'll not happy to see it.. when someone told me about him and his gf i just try to ignore what the ppl said.. i just hope it neer happen.... and i don wan him to hv gf..... i feel he just not belong to her although he never belong to me..... he said he'll be single all his life time.. liar.... The girl should not is the one he love... why? why? why? he choose her... the more longer i stay on his profile the more i fedup... i'm not jealous but arggggg~~!!! u had break my heart..

JUST WAN HIM BE SINGLE...... !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anywhr wish u good luck and all the best..

ratatouille come to visit my house....

2009-06-15T02:16:00.007+08:00

i'm feel so lucky that i meet ratatouille face to face... &*&^%$$$$#@!!@!@$%

The place whr i staying now was full mouse.. (Taman Mutiara Barat have to change Bandar Rataouille). when the darkness come all the mouse will appear everywhr around the housing area.. why this will happen???? will mouse come to attack human one day???? who know.. mayb it will happen... besides that, we also can see mouse gathering party or pot luck party by the drain, walkway, some gather under trees or behind flowers pot...

actually thr is nothing so surprise if thr is a mouse accidently came in my house... this mouse had been stay in my house for 3 to 4 days.. and i cant find it out for the 1st 2 days... till last night i saw it... at 1st i decide wan to catch it.. but how to catch??? haih... so i just talk to the mouse actually give it some advice which hope it can leave my house b4 i kill it... and i back to sleep coz i too tired after date with bluey and benny... hahahaha.... the next day i told my bf about the mouse.... and i told him the place whr the mouse hide and hope he can catch it for me... @.@

2009-06-02T18:08:00.005+08:00

I start to control in my eating.. since my sugar level is quit high in my last blood test... i hv to control which start from my daily eating style and hv to do more exercise.. hehe.. i hope my body's sugar level will drop to the healthy level... no rice, fruits (which contain high sugar level such as oranges), soft drinks, and etc that contain sugar.. and i really dunno what i should eat.. and i hv to start diet to have a more healthiest health. " No One Can Care About my health; Other Than Myself" ... so we must love my body more.. we must try to prevent ourselves from sickness... take good care with out body.....

one day one meal (PUASA).. i had start FASTING since last few week.. and i feel that my body wealth was dropped and i hope i can keep on to loss down my body wealth.. hehe.. 1st, i take only breakfast and mayb sometime just only lunch.. dinner i usually will skip it and i had cut off supper... no more meggi goreng, roti tisu, roti telur, and so and so...

hope u all don ask me out for supper ever after lo... haha.. clubbing boleh la...

to be continue...

2009-06-01T13:35:00.001+08:00

this is a truth story that just happen to me.. since i move in to my new house at cheras, taman mutiara.

i feel that i'm following by someone..

everytime when i'm alone at home i can hear some noise coming out from down-stair if i'm in the room and if i do some cooking in the kitchen i feel like got someone watching Tv in the dining room.. at 1st i though is just mayb the aunty next door watching Tv..

beside that, everytime when i close my eyes to sleep or nab i started to dream this and that in the dream i feel myself is facing some difficulty and i cant remember what i had dream after i wake up.. this always coz me feel tired the day although i sleep very early.. that the reason why u all always see me sleep in the class.. and this kind of dream and feeling keep on happen to me in this 5 months and i just ignore it.. the kind of feeling just make me feel scare and i start to be very emo and i'll suddenly scold my bf.... at 1st i scare myself become psycho.. my bf just try to care me more and in his mind he just think that i become emo girl is just because of too much pressure from college and his family.. and i din told my bf about the dream and the feeling like someone following me and i din tell anyone including my family... i just don hope to worry about me since my family is at sandakan which is very far from KL..

till three week ago, i back to my home town, sandakan during my sem break. I still keep on dream and dream of something that kacau'ing me again and again.. the feeling of is getting stronger and stronger it also had make me hard to breath...

this time i really feel scare and i really cannot tahan.... i faster told my bf,because just only me and him in the room... and he just said mayb i'm not enuf sleep... then i rest for awhile and continue do my work... the feeling which make me almost stop breathing....... come again... this time i really can feel it, it was just beside me.. they controling me from what i'm doing... i told my bf again and he just ignore me and he continue sleep... "wtf"

i feel scare and i rush to down-stair of my house to talk to " GUAN NI MA" and pray to god that try to help me from kacau"ing by those things... after i pray to Guan Ni Ma i feel better... Guan Ni Ma is better than my bf lo... at least Guan Ni Ma care about me... haih... my bf...

till the next day, i told my mother what going to me in this five months.. she quickly bring me to "Bomoh".... wwoooo~~!!!!! make me kan jiong lol... once we reach thr, my mother told the bomoh about i aways dream badly and disturb my those thing by something, then the bomoh use his tool to check n check n check.... finally he had check something... walau.. he know the place i stay at KL he can sense it.. he told me that the place the area that i staying now was full with those things (ghost). and those things had been stay here long long ago.. and those thing had follow me back to my hometown... walau... take AIR ASIA with me.... wooooo~~!!!!! my bf said, the bomoh is more powerful that the gps system.. hahahaha!!!!

the bomoh also said that when i move in the house i never get permission from them.. that mean i din pray lol... haih... this part actually not my part lo... i got no right to ask my bf mother to pray de ma... if ppl don wan.... haih... actually by right, they (bf family) should pray to the four corner if follow the chinese culture. but they do nothing when they move in.....

then i asked why just come and disturb me... why never disturb my bf and his family???? the bomoh said that, i'm not belong to the place (from sandakan not KL ppl) and i'm new to them... walau.... like that also can wooo~~~!!!!! swt!!! then my mother asked.. so what hv to do now.. since i had been staying there for 5 months that long... he check check check again... the bomoh told me to buy nasi kunyit (nasi kuning) and one biji of telur rebus to pray, to get permission from those things so they will not come disturb me anymore.... will they stop kacau"ing me?? i still dunno... ?????????

the bomoh also had gave me one bottle of holly water to drink with one small bottle of holly water to hang in my room. the water in the bottle is so miserable.. the water in the bottle will not getting dry.... believe it... i believe......

after i pray and get permission from those things, i seldom dream anymore. but i still will dream in the night.. and i still can hear voices up at the roof of my room in the daybreak....

Are they gone forever or they will be back?

I never know.......

2009-06-01T13:34:00.003+08:00

2009-06-01T13:34:00.001+08:00

2009-06-01T12:55:00.001+08:00

Today is just the begining of my new sem.. it is such a good start for me

Oppsss.. o i should said i'm happy that my holiday is finally end...

My holiday is such a very " BORING" month that i haven try b4.. at 1st i had plan to go Lang Tengah with my gang.. but had cancelled by my mother.. she had stop me from join my gang to have a trip to Lang Tengah.. Although i told my mom that i had been prepare everythings from hair to toe.. but i still cant get the permission from my mom.. is so sad but nvm.. i told myself i can go Lang Tengah another day in my future....

In this case, I never blame my mother of cancelled me trip to Lang Tengah.. i know she just care about me and also because of something had happen to me.. i'm here to say sorry to my dearest friends that i can't join u all in the so last minutes. and i also wanna said thanks to Su Mei that she had asked her friend to replace me in the critical moment. i still hope i can join u all in another trip.

Eemm... and the most happy thing that happen in my sem break was~~~ i get my driving licence... FINALLY... wahahahahahahaha.......

the return to college... time table had been changed.. some ppl will happy and some not.. i'm the one who feel sad.. my subject clash interpersonal comm with production management.. wtf.... i'm now still finding another sub to replace each of them.. i haven decide which sub i had to drop.. so " tao tia" haih....